


i'm disrespecting your bridge, goatman!

by MistyEyedWolf



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Bang Chan is Goatman, Based On Buzzfeed Unsolved, Crack, Demonic/Cult talk, Episode: s03e04 The Demonic Goatman's Bridge, Goatman is actually kinda nice, Han Jisung is Terrified, Han Jisung | Han & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, I Don't Even Know, I'm sorry for this, Seo Changbin is a Shane, nothing insulting i don't think, there's some talk about religion?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:33:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23509201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyEyedWolf/pseuds/MistyEyedWolf
Summary: "C'mon, be more aggressive with it, call him out." Changbin cleared his throat before slamming his fist on the rusting iron of the bridge directly beside Jisung. Three whole times. "I'm knocking on the bridge, if you don't show yourself it's gonna be mine. Children will come here and tell tales of me!"......There was only silence-"Uh, sir?"
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	i'm disrespecting your bridge, goatman!

It was a day-well, night actually-it was a night like any other. Cold, dark, and kind of ominous with the giant trees around them blocking most of the moonlight. Changbin's car rocked and bumped along the uneven pathway they drove down. It was barely even a road at this point, and if Jisung had a dime for every chunk of asphalt he saw he would honestly be starving in a ditch after weeks of not having money for food.  
  
"So, we're out here because of some weird youtube video you watched like three years ago? To what, hunt furries? You didn't even tell me anything past the location and the name Goatman." Changbin peeked over from his spot in the drivers seat, managing a pretty smooth drive on a road like this for a guy holding the wheel with one hand.  
  
Jisung had met him early on in high school, through a math course that Jisung was failing rather gloriously because he chose to play smash with the kid across the room with him. That kid, being Changbin, was actually just a student aid for the class in the year above him. But he had a switch. What else was Jisung supposed to do, learn?  
  
There were many games played through the years, probably too many trips to the market down the street from their school, and the rest was slightly unfortunate yet truly iconic history.  
  
"I told you a lot more than that, you just never listen to me." Jisung tossed his head back and sighed, forgetting about the antsy feeling that made his fingers twitch and legs bounce and instead he let the feeling of exasperation drown him. He would think about getting the guy some finely Jisung tuned hearing aids, but you can only give the same Christmas gift so many times. "And he's _not_ a furry. We're going out to explore around a bridge built back in the very late 1800's. It's plagued by a malevolent entity known as the Goatman, and there are probably other demons and things out there because of all the ritualistic stuff that goes on in the woods."  
  
Jisung peeked over to see if Changbin had caught anything he just said, continuing only at the raised eyebrow and hum of approval sent his way, "Many people have seen him, this half man half goat with glowing eyes. It might have been something one of the rituals summoned, bridges are gateways and all that, but there was also this guy that was hanged out on the bridge, a goat farmer, right? I think his name was... Charles? Christian? Something like that. But anyway, it could be his spirit all twisted out here, chasing people off the bridge if they knock on it, all kinds of weird stuff."  
  
Changbin snorted at that and leaned back into his seat, "It'd kinda suck to be a demon with the name Christian. Little demon buddy comes up, 'oh hey, Christian, what's poppin-' and _boom_ , they turn straight to ash at the lord's name." With that he tilted his head back and cackled, very obviously not taking things seriously.  
  
Changbin never had much respect for things such as anything involving the spirit realm. Physics and whatever else along that line was his jam, he believed in hard reasoning and fact. The supernatural was just another weird concept that belonged in books and movies for him. "So he's gonna be at this bridge? I should pick grass for him to snack on, surely even demons need to eat their greens~"  
  
Jisung rolled his eyes and peeked out towards the road again, gesturing for his friend to slow to a stop before they ended up on top of the looming bridge ahead that most certainly couldn't carry the weight of a whole vehicle anymore.  
  
He felt cold, his hands were clamming up and oh, his legs really didn't want to carry him out of the car but this was his idea after all. For years he wanted to know if this whole thing was really a hoax or not.  
  
After a brief minute of self soothing and Changbin muttering in a goofy little voice about what kind of grass ' _Mister Goatman_ ' would like best, Jisung stepped out of the car and straightened his backpack against his front, grabbing his two flashlights(you should always carry two just in case any spirits suck the battery life from the first one) and a cold, neon green hunk of plastic he kept at the bottom for defensive purposes.  
  
"Oh, Jisung.." Changbin purses his lips and tucks his hands into his pockets, doing his best to not laugh once he caught sight of the acid trip green water gun in Jisung's hand, crosses drawn on each side with what looked to be black sharpie. "You really outdid yourself, huh bud?"  
  
"Listen okay, I may have ripped it off but it's a smart idea! I got holy water from two different churches in here _and_ sage, evil spirits hate that shit." Jisung maybe skimmed over the fact that sage probably needed to be burned in order to ward off evil but it was the thought that counts. That and he didn't have a lighter on him, so the water had to take the sacrifice. "If we get attacked by evil I want to be prepared, you're lucky I even planned on saving you."  
  
"Alright, fine. Nothing's gonna happen but if a nerf battle with a stiff wind will make you feel better, you just go for it." Changbin held his hands out in defense before reaching for Jisung's spare flashlight, quickly snatching it and turning to step onto the bridge before the younger could complain. "So? I'm on the bridge, I don't smell any goats."  
  
"I mean, according to supernatural you'd smell sulfur or something, not goat, but okay-"Jisung was rudely interrupted by a sharp tug on his wrist, forcing him up the final step so he was on the bridge beside Changbin. There were holes everywhere, heaven forbid they fall through one of them and become another myth of the supernatural realm. Half man, half bridge, they'd call him the Golden Gateman or something completely wrong and horrific, like Theodore.  
  
"You don't see him, do you? No Goatman to protect the Goatman bridge. I'd do a much better job than this dude at protecting my bridge, just saying, and jeez this place needs a good fixing. Do you think he went to go find a vacuum?" Changbin was having way too much fun with this, if nobody could tell by now.  
  
"I dunno, maybe he's just out cruising the forest-"  
  
"Goatman!" Changbin called aggressively with a puffed chest that Jisung knew could crumble like puffed _pastry_. Not at the hands of demonic entities, but definitely at the fluttering wings of butterflies or bats or some shit. Hate those guys. "We came here to steal your bridge-"  
  
"Bin, seriously? I'm not in on the threats, don't drag me into that!" Jisung whined, peeking around. Did that bush just move?  
  
"Why don't you tell the Goatman that?" the older challenges with an evil curl of his lips, and Jisung should honestly pull his holy water gun out earlier than planned to smoke the demon inside of his friend, but no. No godly power could save the soul of Seo Changbin.  
  
So Jisung turned himself around, taking a deep breath and crossing one of his arms over his chest, flashlight held tight in his other hand. "My friend is an idiot, sir.. Goatman... Dude.... Look, I'm not a part of this whole steal your bridge thing, that's all Changbin!" Jisung whipped his head back around at the sound of soft snickering coming from the stupid oversized ripped titty window hoodie wearing imbecile behind him and snapped, " _What?_ "  
  
"Nothing, you're just.. talking like he's the uncle you've met three other times at your great aunt Lee's birthday barbecues." Changbin pressed the grip of his flashlight against his cheek as he grinned, shaking his head and taking a step forward towards the guard rail of the bridge. Shook his arms out like he was getting ready for a brawl. Jisung put his hand on his water gun.  
  
"C'mon, be more aggressive with it, call him out." Changbin cleared his throat before slamming his fist on the rusting iron of the bridge directly beside Jisung. Three whole times. "I'm knocking on the bridge, if you don't show yourself it's gonna be mine. Children will come here and tell tales of me!"  
  
  
...  
  
  
...  
  
  
There was only silence-  
  
"Uh, sir?"  
  
Jisung suddenly jolted away from the guard rail, a shriek echoing through the still air around them. It had been so quiet after Changbin's outburst, he was finally starting to calm down with the lack of demonic response. But there was one thing he knew for a fact, and that, oh god, _that wasn't Changbin_.  
  
"Sir, _please_." the same voice huffed once the scream's last echo kissed the sky, and that's when the boys on the bridge registered the head of curly blackish brown hair peeking around one of the supports near the entrance of the bridge. "I have others resting down here, your yelling and striking on the bars is not doing favors for anyone."  
  
The man(Changbin and Jisung were both at least 88.7% sure he was a man) looked surprisingly clean and well kept for someone who claimed to have been sleeping underneath a bridge. He was a little taller and more broad than any average human Jisung had seen(could probably be in the NBA) and couldn't be a day over twentysomething, but that didn't explain the cleanliness portion.  
  
To be fair, they hadn't explored the perimeter around the bridge yet, so there very well could be showers under there. Technology from the late 1800's that ran from some off-trail creek that was filled with bacteria and the like, running through cracked pipes that were barely hanging on through many years of use to rain down on those that took residence underneath the bridge. Honestly, Jisung should just stop thinking.  
  
Well, stop thinking about the shower thing, not the fact that this man in front of them had the most piercing yellow eyes either of them had ever seen.  
  
As bright and golden as the sun, endless and cold as the deepest pit in the ocean, glaring calmly between them both. The eyes could have just been a trick of the light, but they certainly couldn't use that same excuse for the glinting of the _curled horns growing straight out of the guy's head_.  
  
Jisung took this as his cue to scream again, because honestly, what would _you_ do in this situation. You're out here in the middle of the woods with your best pal, scoping out what has been said to be a very sketchy and _very_ haunted bridge, trying to find a demonic thing that's literally half goat or whatever, and then you find said goat human demon spawn of hell because they come up to complain that you were being too loud? What, is there also some secret leprechaun society living underneath his house plotting to steal the silver fillings in his back two teeth. Good god, his poor teeth.  
  
His thoughts and stuttered 'oh my god's were cut off with three harsh clicks against the wood of the bridge. The man, the literal _Goatman_ , was now standing on the same level as both Jisung and Changbin, and yeah, the bottom half of his body really sold the merchandise here.  
  
His chest was bare, as one would expect it to be, living as a spirit in the outdoors since the 18whatever's and all, but around his hips was where it got really whack. Coarse black hair grew in thick curls from his skin, similar to the ones on his head, and ran from the curves of his abdomen all the way down to two polished goat hooves that shuffled every now and again as weight was shifted from one to the other. Legs bent back at the.. the knee area, all goat like and stuff.  
  
Jisung wasn't breathing anymore.  
  
Changbin was silent, and bad timing on Jisung's part but the concept of a first time for everything applied to this moment far too well. The older was shocked, looking half constipated but mostly expressing straight disbelief. How was this for hard facts.  
  
"Bin-Changbin, it's the-" Jisung almost hurled out his lungs when the creatures yellow eyes locked onto his own, knees weak and hands useless as they curled up against his chest to, at the very least, protect his heart from getting ripped out. Or something else equally demonic. Another click of hooves on wood sent him on his ass, bumping his back into Changbin's very sturdy and unmoving shins. If the entity got any closer the yellow chucks he was sitting on were toast.  
  
"I don't usually present myself like this, but the both of you were making an awful lot of racket and I have entities that sincerely need their beauty rest." the Goatman huffed and held his hands behind his back, standing tall and making sure it was known that he meant business.  
  
Jisung was stunned, never had he expected an experience like this. Maybe some glowing eyes from the trees or a couple weird sounds to satiate the craving of just knowing there was more out there, but now he was on his ass being told off by a demonic satyr as if he was the upstairs neighbor that always had his music playing too loud.  
  
Jisung was that guy often, but that wasn't important.  
  
The creature continued, and as he spoke Jisung subconsciously registered the pointiness of his teeth, "So if you would please respect the peace of the night and _stop_ hitting my bridge before it collapses on my tenants or turns you into more lost souls I have to house, that would be well appreciated.. Please."  
  
It took Jisung a hot minute to come up with a response, never one to handle being chewed out very well to begin with but this, this was a whole other level of inability, "S-Sorry, so sorry mister Goatman sir, I.. My friend-joking, we're both sorry."  
  
"As you should be..." Yellow eyes narrowed in on the scrambling boy and Jisung swore the shark like teeth glinted as the creature bared them.  
  
This was it. Jisung and Changbin were going to die here. Their bodies would be torn apart and placed in four corners of the forest, used as a ritual sacrifice like all the stories. Their faces would be all over the news but nobody would ever know that it was the Goatman that killed them in cold blood. There would be no prints, no bodies that investigators could find DNA on to pin suspects. Jisung was gonna die out here in the cold trees with his closest friend and would never be able to match Changbin's score of games of smash won in a single sitting. This spiral of horror and grotesque acceptance kept pushing him down into the splintering wood of the bridge, and his backside was numbed by the time the demon's voice broke out again.  
  
"Ah," he began, posture loosening just a tad as his hands came forward to hover near his chest, almost looking... insecure? One of the hands came forward to gesture to the area beneath them, or Jisung, more specifically.  
  
"Was that too much? The board underneath you is shaking a tad.." the Goatman almost sounded apologetic for stating the fact. Jisung absolutely had to be hearing wrong, was this demon not going to possess his soul and use his body for bone soup and all the fixings? After no response, the explanation continued, and Jisung really needed to stand up.  
  
"You see, I hear the talk through the trees as people come and go to seek me out, and while before it was rather undesirable to be seen as a monstrous being stalking others, a companion of mine that lives beneath this bridge along with myself and a few others told me to try and be like the stories made me out to be if given the chance, just to have a bit of.. fun. I wanted to know if it worked well." The smile sent their way was far too kind, and Jisung was surprised himself when he realized that the Goatman had dimples.  
  
"You're... no offense, you're literally terrifying, but demon goats are kinda, uh.. Hard not to be afraid of.." Jisung tried for a laugh but ended up sounding like a choking parrot, clinging to Changbin's thigh as he helped himself up and away from the board that gave away his fear. Not cowering, just...yeah, kinda cowering.  
  
"You, um.. You might wanna work on the attitude though, more.. more teeth, more demon and less angry father, you know?" Changbin, sweet summer child Changbin, had spoken these words. His brain to mouth filter never really managed to filter anything at all, but a lot of his coping habits revolved around joking to ease his own tension, and the way he clung onto Jisung's hand told the younger how his friend was truly feeling.  
  
The Goatman stood and analyzed the critique before nodding, as if taking it to heart. Did he even have a heart, or was it just hellfire and black licorice in there?  
  
"Hey, is your name Christian?"  
  
_Changbin, no._  
  
The Goatman chuckled a bit at that, shifting on his _hooves_ again as he began to explain, "That part of my legacy has never been carried well through the years. I was born with the name Christopher, actually. However, Chris works just as well."  
  
"Chris-right, beautiful, oh sweet jesus I'm gonna-" Jisung peeked up from his boots at the soft hiss that left Goa- _Christopher's_ throat, gaping at the shudder of discomfort that ran up his weird goat legs and through his shoulders. He could practically feel Changbin's pride, the fact that he was partially right about the name of big guy in the sky affecting demons. It was a joke, just a joke, how did they even get here. "Sorry... Slip of the tongue."  
  
"It's quite alright, I'm sure you lot haven't met even close to a handful of entities such as myself before.." Christopher gave the both of them a smile, laced thinly with the lasting discomfort that the chill of the forbidden word sent through him. "However, I'm afraid I must leave you soon. My tenants get antsy if I'm away for too long and I don't wish to be caught in the sunrise that approaches."  
  
"Right.." Jisung started hesitantly and swallowed thickly, making sure his voice remained steady. "Well it was lovely meeting you, Christopher, Goatman, sir, but uh.. We have to..." Jisung tugged at Changbin's hand and tried to back away without catching the heels of his boots on any loose boards that stuck out of the platform. Changbin was easy to follow, digging for his keys and keeping his eyes on the demon as he kindly waved a hand and turned to trot off into the hidden passage just beyond the last support of the bridge, blending into the darkness until the last twinkle of yellow blinked out of sight.  
  
Within seconds they were locked in the car, breathing in sweet precious oxygen and smothering their hands with the holy water and sage from Jisung's water gun. A quick cleanse to soothe the souls that were, thankfully, still in their bodies.  
  
"We just... met the Goatman. Changbin, we met the Goatman, and his... his name is Christopher. That was the freaking _Goatman_."  
  
Changbin was silent for a long while after the car was started, focussing on driving through the pathway their unassuming past selves came from just hours before. The night had been one Jisung would never forget, even if he desperately wanted to at some moments, and he was sure Changbin felt the same with the way his hands curled around the steering wheel. The trees yet again blended together as Jisung dozed against the window, yellow eyes and dimples sitting stubbornly behind his eyelids.  
  
"We're coming back next weekend to see him again. I.. Actually wonder if he's had pizza before."  
  
" _Changbin_."  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i.. literally have no words other than i'm sorry, but i love buzzfeed unsolved and love stray kids so.. i met in the middle and called it a day.  
> if you enjoyed it feel free to comment, lemme know what you liked!  
> i really do love seeing comments and stuff, it gives me motivation and makes me real happy ^u^  
> other than that, i hope you have a lovely day!
> 
> feel free to contact me via  
> twt - @dragonhwangs  
> cc - dragonhwangs


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